The final countdown


I started this post about 4x but never got past a paragraph – that is how tired I am lately. Walking up the stairs to my bedroom seems as a hike.  If you can recall that moment when you are dozing off on a couch and then quickly wake up – that moment when your eyes sort of open and you are coming back to real life – well, that is how I feel 24/7. It sucks. My day resembles my bassethound’s day way more nowadays. From couch to bed, from bed to couch and porch if the nasty rain goes away. Yes, a picture of energy lately.

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Strangely though, all my blood work is excellent. Peachy, actually. So it is just the headache, itchy skin, heartburn – and yes, the fatigue. Sounds totally manageable given what I have but it is not good for my mind – that feeling of not able to do much of anything. The diet sucks right now – not because I can’t follow it but because the damn thing takes A LOT of planning, cooking and work. This is not an “open your fridge and grab something” diet. It takes a lot of thinking ahead and making your own stuff – and that is not my forte right now. Gym feels like Mt. Everest expedition.

So on the positive note, my skin is amazing (ha, not sure why), I lost 12 pounds and am down 2 sizes (upping my intake now to maintain – but all my pants just hang on me), the hair is super low maintenance and I like it, and I only have 5 more treatments to go. It is the Final countdown, yes! Who wouldn’t remember that one hit wonder – and the hair?

My short-term disability has been extended to early April so I have a whole month to recover and get myself back to 100%. I am glad I didn’t go to work which I had a small tendency to do as I was restless. Not now, I can see why they say to take the time.

Yet, even in this stage, I get calls from the healthcare providers and insurance company to reconcile the crazy bills. This whole part of healthcare is completely insane. I spent 12 hours last week reconciling everything, found over $50K of mistakes, called useless call centers where they know 4 operations  – and upped my blood pressure significantly. I get a letter from Anthem saying that the genetic molecular work my doctor did is experimental so not covering it – hello a new car! B and I were floored. I have to give huge kudos to my oncology office that takes some of these shocking events/letters and deals with all of it on my behalf. Reality is – there is no transparency or outcome-based choices in healthcare. You are in a complete lock down between the doctors and insurance companies. And if one of them sucks, you go down – not them.

Anyway – was I too negative today? Maybe – it is week 6 and supposed to be the worst – but not every week was going to be a beach day.  Ah, beach – that is where I want to be after all this is done. Just doing nothing – relaxing. (like this in Nizuc or this in Isla Mujeres). Maybe – or maybe I learn a bit more about my genetics – the choices you get to make these days 🙂

So I will end with some fun pictures when mum was here – we had a great time!

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5 thoughts on “The final countdown

  1. Hang in there girl! I sit here at my little cubicle in Columbia, MO and cry that you and your family have to go through this experience, but you have a great mindset about it all. I am so glad you mom came and you were able to spend the time with her. I look forward to the March posts as I pray you begin to feel more like your old self. You have my love and prayers.

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  2. Misha your photos make me smile — you are all beautiful women – and those smiles are big and genuine. We are all counting down with you. Lots of hugs! /k

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  3. Feel better Misa and thanks for the update! Hope Brian can use a few of his legal friends to help with any ‘surprises’ from the Insurance ‘providers’ Ugh!

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  4. Hope you regain your strength soon. Give yourself time to heal, please. You’ll get there. Sending good vibes and lots of love. Bridget & fran

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  5. I dropped a note in the mail to you and then remembered something I meant to share. Did you know that while the hair on your head will return, your body hair most likely will not return as it was previously? This could be a great thing if you don’t want to shave your legs in the summer, as an example. I typically only have to shave my legs once or twice per week in the summer and once per week in winter — my leg hair just doesn’t grow fast.

    I’d rather not have lost my hair once upon a time, but since I did . . ..

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